Keep it simple. Period.

Last night driving home from an art opening in Chinatown, I had a moment of sheer joy.  I was simply driving, talking to my husband next to me and it hit me, bliss.  It doesn't take much to make me feel fulfilled.  I think it's a gift.  I've learned a lot about non-attachment from my life partner, about letting go and not joining in the drama.  I'm by no means perfect at this practice.  I definitely can get pulled into the misunderstandings and gossip, but I find as time goes on, it happens less and less.  I still feel a wide range of emotions; anger, frustration, disbelief, sorrow, but I'm able for the most part to acknowledge, accept and release the emotions before I deal with the situation.   

To acknowledge, accept and release my emotions, writing how I feel is quite useful, as well as taking a deep breathe before responding in a trying situation.  Sincerely though, it's my daily practice that keeps me on an even keel and able to use these small tips and maintain my dedication simple living.  When it's all said and done, what do we really need to be happy?  For me the list is short; a healthy body and mind, nourishing food, a clean home space, a balance between work and play, mental stimulation, creative outlets and good company.  People who I share values with and who teach as well as inspire me to be a better person.  I think that's a pretty short list!  Simple.

Island winds

Last night while hurricane Iselle was moving across the Big Island, winds began to pick up here on Oahu.  Our knee to ceiling windows normally reveal clouds sweeping across a variety of shades of color and palm trees swaying in the gentle breeze, they are normally a joy to look out of.  Well yesterday the windows became a great source of stress.  If the worst-case scenario happened and wind of 70 mph whipped past our home, who knows what could come flying through those windows!  I had trouble sleeping last night, which tends to happen to me when winds are strong. 

Often as the trade winds pick up I find myself piling blankets on top of myself, covering as much skin as I can to protect myself from air moving over my skin, much to the amusement of my husband who cannot believe that even in the tropical heat I can stand multiple blankets on my body or the fact that I sometimes I climb into bed at night with cold hands and feet.  Those of us who live with anxiety or a Vata constitution may relate to my plight.  There is something especially unnerving about wind, especially when one is already uneasy.  Over time, I've had to figure out strategies in order to live with the troubled sleep that accompanies my anxiety. 

There is an eye pillow on my nightstand, so that when I wake up in the middle of the night, I can place it on my eyes and practice relaxation techniques.  The first technique I use is a pranayama practice.  I inhale the first half of the breath into the front of my body (think lungs and abdomen) and then the second half of the breath into the back of my body (think low back and the space between the shoulder blades), then slowly exhale all the air out.  Try not to worry about the amount of breath moving in and out of the body, remember no strain!  Once you figure out how to access the back body this practice is divine.  Additionally, I count down my breaths.  Inhale count 50, exhale 49, inhale 48, exhale 47, inhale 46 . . . Repeat a few times if needed.

Well last night, for whatever reason, maybe I was too groggy or maybe the wind was just too loud, I totally succumbed to disturbed sleep.  So in order to ensure that this nights sleep will be restful, I got up this morning and practiced asana, and made sure to include specific postures I know to relieve anxiety and excess Vata.  I took plenty of joint rotations, was hyper aware of my connection to my feet and the ground in all standing postures, took forward folds and plenty of postures on my abdomen to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system.  So looks like I'll be having sweet dreams tonight!

Communication, my final frontier

 

When it comes to communication, I think there are two kinds of people in this world, people who express and people who repress.  People who cannot help but speak their minds and others who stuff their sentiments deep down inside.  I am definitely part of the suppressed, stifled and internalize-r club.  I might be the team caption. 

This being said, I think it is curious that I find communication and language study to be mesmerizing.  This year in grad school I was introduced to the world of pragmatics- the study of the use of language and the context in which it is used.  It is a broad field that investigates the transmission of meaning through language, verbal and non-verbal as well as face-to-face and via the computer.  It encompasses the relationship of the speakers, the intent of the speaker, the environment in which the communication occurs, and so on. 

One topic in pragmatics that intrigues me is evasion.  In speech, evasiveness occurs when the answer to a question is irrelevant or simply does not answer the question.  Some one asks you how your job is going and you say, "My cat did the craziest thing the other day!" or you simply state, "Let's not talk about my job."  While the strategies involved in the responses are different, the message is the same.  The person is avoiding the question and THAT is when things get interesting. 

So that got me thinking, if we regularly evade responding to direct questions, how much else are we avoiding in our lives?  One of the yamas, the personal practices of yoga is satya- truth in thought, word and deed.  So just as in pragmatics where the how and why of evasion is studied, I think it is important to study what we are evading in all areas of our lives.  If we don't look at what we are avoiding, whether that is problems at work, in our bodies, with our friends and family, with our finances, we are not really practicing satya.  This is a fierce practice.  So brave up!

Obviously, I am continually working on communicating with honesty and kindness rather than burying my emotions and problems.  I am lucky to have relationships that have helped me along the way.  Those who know me best can often be heard saying things like, "I cannot read your mind",  "Talk to me" or "What is wrong?".  And I am doing my best to talk.  I'm doing my best to look into those dark places that I try to avoid with love and a whole lot of compassion.  It's a process.  But I know the benefits that have come to me when I've faced my fears in the past, and that's what keeps me motivated.  Maybe someday, I'll even give up evasion.

If your yoga is not changing you . . .

Inevitably when I am in conversation, getting to know someone, yoga will come up.  No surprises here right?  The older I get, the percentage of my life that I've been studying, practicing and teaching yoga increase.  I'm almost at the point where I've been living  yoga for half my life.  Considering how often I've changed my job and where I live (amongst other things) yoga has been a constant in my life . . . one of the few.  You know when your dad introduces you to his friends as 'the wanderer' that perhaps consistency is not one of your strengths.  It's true though.  I love change and I love adventure.  I'm always up for exploring new spaces and new ideas.  That all being said, I find it intriguing that I've stuck with this one thing for so long. 

Like so many long-term practitioners, I've had many different relationships with my practice.  In the midst of a deep depression, my practice was a place that I came to for light.  In the middle of uncertainty and change, my practice was a place that I found steadiness.  Certainly, when my body and mind have been healthy, my practice has brought me insight and bliss.  Along this path there have been times that I really didn't feel like coming to the mat.  Times that I was avoiding myself or doing my best to ignore that nagging voice in my head that was telling me that no matter what, practice would help.  The Yoga Sutras perceptively call these situations 'the obstacles' and there is a whole list of them.  

"Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, sensuality, false perception, failure to reach firm ground and slipping from the ground gained - these distractions of the mind-stuff are the obstacles."  It's a handy list to refer to when your practice has become a chore.  I find that there is always something to discover when we encounter resistance to practice.  It's a time to dig deep, to uncover the cause of the struggle, some truth that we need to explore and accept.  Through this process we are given the opportunity to discover our strengths and know ourselves a bit better.  Sometimes, all we need a little adjustment in our perspectives or even in our practice.  

Recently I spent some time in WA teaching and practicing.  It was incredible.  I felt really connected and inspired by the practice.  Once I returned to Honolulu I hit a slump, I thought about it and realized how much I had been missing not only a community to practice in but also a deeper connection to the physical side of yoga.  I've always been a pretty heady and private sort of person, studying the Sutras, pranayama and practicing the majority of the time at home.  So, lately I've been motivated by the physical aspect of the practice.  I've been in the studio almost daily and when I don't make it there I'm at home exploring new asana.  Once again I am incredibly inspired by the practice and am amazed that I continue to learn and grow in my practice.  I'm feeling pretty stoked.  So, I'll wrap it up with the wise words of one of my teachers Melina, "If your yoga is not changing you, change your yoga".  

Satchidananda, Sri Swami. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.  Integral Yoga Publications, Buckingham, 2008.

Prana Part I

Prana.  There are a million ways to describe it: chi, essence, life force, energy, flow, vitality, vigor, vivacity, animation, dynamism, liveliness . . . Sometimes it is easiest to understand when we put it in a context.  Think of a time when you felt truly alive, inspired and energetic.  You probably were well rested and well fed.  Wherever you were, you were happy and content with whatever you had.  I can almost guarantee that your prana was well cultivated at that time and in balance. 

So while some of us are interested in keeping our ojas well stocked so that our tejas once lit can keep prana flowing, others may say, that is enough Sanskrit for one day, I lost you after prana, can we just go back to talking about prana?  Just hang with me for a second longer and we'll head back to how to cultivate prana. 

Ojas, tejas and prana are what David Frawley terms as "the essential or beneficial forms of Vata, Pitta and Kapha that sustain positive vitality . . . they promote health, creativity and well-being . . ." (87).  So if we were to take the essence and positive qualities of the three doshas, that's what ojas, tejas and prana are.  Ojas (related to Kapha) is primal vigor, it is a reserve, the base for endurance, responsible for nourishing and grounding.  Tejas (related to Pitta) is inner radiance, it is vitality, it digests our experiences and allows us to unfold.  Prana (related to Vata) is the primal life force, the directing intelligence behind all functions, the great coordinator of mind, body and spirit, responsible for evolution and harmonization. 

Fantastic!  Great!  I want all of these qualities!  So how do I get them?  I believe Buddhism nailed this one with the Noble Eightfold Path.  Right view, intention, speech, action, livelihood, effort, mindfulness and concentration must be cultivated if we are to have any chance at finding inner peace.  Ayurveda adds one more complex piece to the puzzle.  Right lifestyle.  This is unique to you and you alone.  The right lifestyle for you is individual, the amount of sleep, type of work, creative outlets, movement and social interaction, as well as the type and quantity of food, drink and herbs is your responsibility to understand. 

I like to think of myself as a scientist of my own great experiment in life.  I try my best to stay detached and rather than assume that my actions are bringing greater ease and inspiration into my life, I try to observe my actions and their consequences.  As much as possible, I respect what I observe and make changes in my lifestyle to reflect what I need.  Not so easy because as we all know, the only constant is change.  This is not to say that I don't have patterns because I sure do.  I can pretty much guarantee to you all that my imbalances always start with anxiety, fear and ungroundedness and I know now how to get myself back into balance fairly painlessly.  When we are in balance, we can easily cultivate prana.  Prana is cultivated through maintaining a right lifestyle.  We gain it from the foods we eat as well as through all of our senses.  When we are in balance we can more easily cultivate prana because we take it in with every breath we take.  So find a lifestyle that makes you feel alive and ojas will create tejas which will create prana. 

Yoga & Ayurveda. Lotus Press, Twin Lakes. 1999.

30 day ayurvedic cleanse results!!!

Well, he's done it once again.  My good friend Jesse completed his 30 day cleanse, this time integrating some Ayurvedic wisdom and he has reported back on how it went.  I'd like to share some of his experience. . . 

 

*  After a week without caffeine and sugar, his energy level remained constant and stress level remained low.  He was better able to hear when his body was hungry or thirsty and found himself not eating or drinking when he really didn't need it. 

* He is off the caffeine in the morning!!!  Those are his exclamation points, not mine.  He's grown quite found of the delicious master cleanse drink, a concoction of lemon, cayenne and some sweetener, that he claims helps with phlegmy-ness in the morning and has been drinking fresh ginger slices and hot water as an alternative to coffee.  Both fantastic ideas for anyone wishing to substitute coffee and/or move Kapha phlegm out in the morning.

* Jesse mixed up some Ayurvedic herbs, following my instructions and found them painful to drink.  This is a common experience as many Ayurvedic herbs have a very bitter taste that us Westerners are not used to in our diets.  After taking Ayurvedic herbs on the regular for the past several years I can say that you get used to the taste :)

* He tried three Ayurvedic daily rituals, the neti pot, tongue scraper and abhyanga (oil massage before shower).  While the neti pot is not his cup of tea due to a general uncomfortable with water in his nasal passages and excessive dampness, Kapha, he is sold on the tongue scraping and abhyanga.  He did note that yes, morning ritual is time consuming and I completely agree.  My philosophy: pay now or pay later!  Also, as you get more attuned to how you are doing on a daily bases, you know which parts of the morning ritual you can skip and which ones you need to include to stay in balance. 

 

* As Jesse eschewed processed foods, he noticed that sweetener is in all processed vegetarian food.  He says he is cooking a lot more with all fresh ingredients and this helps him stay aware of the food he is actually eating, power of choice as well as proportion. 

* Finally, he thinks that it sounds like a good idea to have a cleanse at the beginning of a season and I couldn't agree more!!! He says he will definitely have this routine in January, and maybe again around the change of seasons for summer.  You go!!!

P.S.  If you are feeling the need for some Ayurvedic inspiration, Jesse recommends Tastes of Ayurveda and The Modern Ayurvedic - both by Amrita Sondhi

Where ever you go, there you are.

"Generally speaking, we regard discomfort in any form as bad news.  But for practitioners or spiritual warriors- people who have a hunger to know what is true- feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we're holding back.  They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we'd rather collapse and back away.  They're like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we're stuck.  This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it's with us wherever we are."  ~Pema Chödrön

People often talk to me about starting a home practice or starting to meditate like it is some big complicated thing that they will never be able to do.  Let me tell you, everyone can!!!  Sincerely.  

Recently,  I had a conversation with a person who told me they wanted to travel to a place half-way around the world so they could be in a specific place, with a specific practice that they knew would be great inspiration to start their meditation practice.

The beauty of Pema Chödrön's words state what to me is becoming more and more obvious.  Where ever you go, there you are.  There you are, with everything you need to practice.  Every moment, every emotion that you feel, every experience you have is a chance to dive in and explore or to run away. 

This weekend I tried to go to a yoga class.  I wanted badly to have someone lead me.  I arrived at the studio and no one was at the desk.  I waited.  Eventually, I left.  As I was biking home I felt a deep sadness, disappointment, frustration and a longing to connect in a community.  I had motivated, tried to do something good for myself and it didn't work out.  So I came home, rolled out my mat, laid down on my abdomen on the surface and let myself be sad...just for a minute.  I accepted it.  Then I started to breath, deeply.  I let my abdomen fill and press into the ground.  Then I started moving. 

That's the thing about life.  It just keeps happening.  The more we fight our experiences, the more they harm us.  The more we are awake to the experiences, our ever changing emotions and thoughts that go along with them, the easier things get.   

Like Swami Satchitananda said, "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf."