If your yoga is not changing you . . .

Inevitably when I am in conversation, getting to know someone, yoga will come up.  No surprises here right?  The older I get, the percentage of my life that I've been studying, practicing and teaching yoga increase.  I'm almost at the point where I've been living  yoga for half my life.  Considering how often I've changed my job and where I live (amongst other things) yoga has been a constant in my life . . . one of the few.  You know when your dad introduces you to his friends as 'the wanderer' that perhaps consistency is not one of your strengths.  It's true though.  I love change and I love adventure.  I'm always up for exploring new spaces and new ideas.  That all being said, I find it intriguing that I've stuck with this one thing for so long. 

Like so many long-term practitioners, I've had many different relationships with my practice.  In the midst of a deep depression, my practice was a place that I came to for light.  In the middle of uncertainty and change, my practice was a place that I found steadiness.  Certainly, when my body and mind have been healthy, my practice has brought me insight and bliss.  Along this path there have been times that I really didn't feel like coming to the mat.  Times that I was avoiding myself or doing my best to ignore that nagging voice in my head that was telling me that no matter what, practice would help.  The Yoga Sutras perceptively call these situations 'the obstacles' and there is a whole list of them.  

"Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, sensuality, false perception, failure to reach firm ground and slipping from the ground gained - these distractions of the mind-stuff are the obstacles."  It's a handy list to refer to when your practice has become a chore.  I find that there is always something to discover when we encounter resistance to practice.  It's a time to dig deep, to uncover the cause of the struggle, some truth that we need to explore and accept.  Through this process we are given the opportunity to discover our strengths and know ourselves a bit better.  Sometimes, all we need a little adjustment in our perspectives or even in our practice.  

Recently I spent some time in WA teaching and practicing.  It was incredible.  I felt really connected and inspired by the practice.  Once I returned to Honolulu I hit a slump, I thought about it and realized how much I had been missing not only a community to practice in but also a deeper connection to the physical side of yoga.  I've always been a pretty heady and private sort of person, studying the Sutras, pranayama and practicing the majority of the time at home.  So, lately I've been motivated by the physical aspect of the practice.  I've been in the studio almost daily and when I don't make it there I'm at home exploring new asana.  Once again I am incredibly inspired by the practice and am amazed that I continue to learn and grow in my practice.  I'm feeling pretty stoked.  So, I'll wrap it up with the wise words of one of my teachers Melina, "If your yoga is not changing you, change your yoga".  

Satchidananda, Sri Swami. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.  Integral Yoga Publications, Buckingham, 2008.