Communication, my final frontier

 

When it comes to communication, I think there are two kinds of people in this world, people who express and people who repress.  People who cannot help but speak their minds and others who stuff their sentiments deep down inside.  I am definitely part of the suppressed, stifled and internalize-r club.  I might be the team caption. 

This being said, I think it is curious that I find communication and language study to be mesmerizing.  This year in grad school I was introduced to the world of pragmatics- the study of the use of language and the context in which it is used.  It is a broad field that investigates the transmission of meaning through language, verbal and non-verbal as well as face-to-face and via the computer.  It encompasses the relationship of the speakers, the intent of the speaker, the environment in which the communication occurs, and so on. 

One topic in pragmatics that intrigues me is evasion.  In speech, evasiveness occurs when the answer to a question is irrelevant or simply does not answer the question.  Some one asks you how your job is going and you say, "My cat did the craziest thing the other day!" or you simply state, "Let's not talk about my job."  While the strategies involved in the responses are different, the message is the same.  The person is avoiding the question and THAT is when things get interesting. 

So that got me thinking, if we regularly evade responding to direct questions, how much else are we avoiding in our lives?  One of the yamas, the personal practices of yoga is satya- truth in thought, word and deed.  So just as in pragmatics where the how and why of evasion is studied, I think it is important to study what we are evading in all areas of our lives.  If we don't look at what we are avoiding, whether that is problems at work, in our bodies, with our friends and family, with our finances, we are not really practicing satya.  This is a fierce practice.  So brave up!

Obviously, I am continually working on communicating with honesty and kindness rather than burying my emotions and problems.  I am lucky to have relationships that have helped me along the way.  Those who know me best can often be heard saying things like, "I cannot read your mind",  "Talk to me" or "What is wrong?".  And I am doing my best to talk.  I'm doing my best to look into those dark places that I try to avoid with love and a whole lot of compassion.  It's a process.  But I know the benefits that have come to me when I've faced my fears in the past, and that's what keeps me motivated.  Maybe someday, I'll even give up evasion.

If your yoga is not changing you . . .

Inevitably when I am in conversation, getting to know someone, yoga will come up.  No surprises here right?  The older I get, the percentage of my life that I've been studying, practicing and teaching yoga increase.  I'm almost at the point where I've been living  yoga for half my life.  Considering how often I've changed my job and where I live (amongst other things) yoga has been a constant in my life . . . one of the few.  You know when your dad introduces you to his friends as 'the wanderer' that perhaps consistency is not one of your strengths.  It's true though.  I love change and I love adventure.  I'm always up for exploring new spaces and new ideas.  That all being said, I find it intriguing that I've stuck with this one thing for so long. 

Like so many long-term practitioners, I've had many different relationships with my practice.  In the midst of a deep depression, my practice was a place that I came to for light.  In the middle of uncertainty and change, my practice was a place that I found steadiness.  Certainly, when my body and mind have been healthy, my practice has brought me insight and bliss.  Along this path there have been times that I really didn't feel like coming to the mat.  Times that I was avoiding myself or doing my best to ignore that nagging voice in my head that was telling me that no matter what, practice would help.  The Yoga Sutras perceptively call these situations 'the obstacles' and there is a whole list of them.  

"Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, sensuality, false perception, failure to reach firm ground and slipping from the ground gained - these distractions of the mind-stuff are the obstacles."  It's a handy list to refer to when your practice has become a chore.  I find that there is always something to discover when we encounter resistance to practice.  It's a time to dig deep, to uncover the cause of the struggle, some truth that we need to explore and accept.  Through this process we are given the opportunity to discover our strengths and know ourselves a bit better.  Sometimes, all we need a little adjustment in our perspectives or even in our practice.  

Recently I spent some time in WA teaching and practicing.  It was incredible.  I felt really connected and inspired by the practice.  Once I returned to Honolulu I hit a slump, I thought about it and realized how much I had been missing not only a community to practice in but also a deeper connection to the physical side of yoga.  I've always been a pretty heady and private sort of person, studying the Sutras, pranayama and practicing the majority of the time at home.  So, lately I've been motivated by the physical aspect of the practice.  I've been in the studio almost daily and when I don't make it there I'm at home exploring new asana.  Once again I am incredibly inspired by the practice and am amazed that I continue to learn and grow in my practice.  I'm feeling pretty stoked.  So, I'll wrap it up with the wise words of one of my teachers Melina, "If your yoga is not changing you, change your yoga".  

Satchidananda, Sri Swami. The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali.  Integral Yoga Publications, Buckingham, 2008.